it was the strangest thing today
i saw new footprints in abandoned pathways
beneath forgotten undergrowth, something stirring again
you were a single red blood cell
but i lost you in this knot of capillaries
but you were bringing me oxygen when i needed it most in the…
smoke.

but you were always

as far as mongolia, as close as my clothes
your presence pervading, but it still never shows
as close as the answer i never quite know, or can’t quite remember
your distance insidious, as soft as a blow
your shadow is with me wherever i go
it’s on the tip of my tongue but still i never quite know, or can’t quite remember

can’t quite remember

the forced proximity of a million different mike leigh movies
makes me long for the fresh air of a familiar face
and not the violence of loneliness, nor the unease of surrounded seclusion
i keep nearly missing you around corners and in passing trains

as far as mongolia, as close as my clothes
your presence pervading, but it still never shows
as close as the answer i never quite know, or can’t quite remember
your distance insidious, as soft as a blow
your shadow is with me wherever i go
it’s on the tip of my tongue, it’s on the tip of my-

if i’d known

if i’d known

if i’d known

if i’d known
if i’d known
if i’d known
if i’d known
if i’d known
if i’d known

that you weren’t so far away
that you weren’t so far away
that you weren’t so far away
that you were never that far away
that you weren’t so far away
that you weren’t so far away
that you weren’t so far away

i could’ve rode this train smiling.